Pineapple Waffles
by sparrowchords
Summary: When Leslie loses a binder full of important documents for the Harvest Festival, it's up to a vacationing Shawn and Gus to find it. Along the way they'll find delicious waffles, friendly shoeshiners, terrible councilmen, and more. Complete!
1. Oreos and Wilie Nelson

"Gus, are we there yet?"

"No, Shawn, we're not."

Shawn groaned miserably. For the past two days, he and Gus had been stuck in the tiny Blueberry, listening to mostly the same two CDs over and over again.

"Might I remind you, Shawn, that you were the one who suggested we take a road trip? I wanted to spring for the flight, but no, you wanted to drive thirty hours to Indianapolis."

"I thought it would be fun, okay? You know, you and me, chillin' in the Blueberry, eating junk and listening to Willie Nelson…"

Gus kept his eyes on the road, his face tensed in an icy concentration. They were now driving through Illinois, which was overflowing with cornfields, cornfields, and more cornfields.

"We'll be there soon, at least. Think about it, Gus, tomorrow, you and me, fulfilling years and years of childhood dreams…"

Gus smiled in spite of himself. "Braverton's," he said, his voice laced with awe.

The name still managed to send chills down their spines. Braverton's Arcade in Indianapolis was the largest arcade in the country, and Shawn and Gus had been dreaming about it since they were both eight years old. The price of one admission allowed access to thousands of games, unlimited pizza and slushies, and a picture taken with Ralph, the arcade's monkey mascot.

After Juliet had suggested Shawn and Gus take a vacation not too long ago, they had decided that perhaps a vacation was warranted after a good two years of solving cases. Wanting to go all out, they picked Braverton's as the ultimate destination.

"Man, when we get there, I'm gonna hug that monkey so tight…" Gus mused.

"Dude, you know it's just a guy in a suit, right?"

"Yes, Shawn, I know it's just a guy in a suit."

Silence passed between them until Shawn asked, "So, when are we stopping for dinner?"

"We just had lunch."

"I'm hungry."

"Have a snack, Shawn."

"I'm tired of Oreos. You know what sounds really good?"

"What?"

"Waffles."


	2. Nice Hair

**Forgot to mention in the last chapter that this story takes place in the third season of Psych and the third season of Parks and Rec. Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

"Leslie, relax."

"I can't, Ann! The entire Harvest Festival might be ruined."

"You need to calm down. Look, here come your waffles."

"Oh, thank God." A waitress at JJ's Diner placed Leslie's waffles on the table in front of her gently and handed her a can of whipped cream. "Thank you, Elizabeth," Leslie told her. "You're amazing. I love you."

The waitress gave Leslie an awkward look and left.

"So…what was in that binder that's so important?" Ann asked.

"All of my plans for the Harvest Festival!" Leslie began to create a mountain of whipped cream on top of her waffles. "Lists of vendors, booths, the forms for the Ferris wheel, everything!"

"I'm sure you just misplaced it. Have you checked your crazy messy house?"

"I spent all day looking for it there." Leslie grabbed a bottle of syrup from the table and poured it onto her plate quite unsparingly. "And I found a lot of interesting other things, but no Harvest Festival binder. And believe me, Ann, I didn't miss it. That thing's gigantic."

"And it's not anywhere in the Parks office?"

"No, Ann. I hate to say it, but…I think someone stole it."

"Why would anyone do that, Leslie?"

"To sabotage me! To sabotage the Parks Department!"

"Well, somehow I don't think that's the case."

The bell on the door of JJ's Diner rang and Ann looked up to see two men, who, for some reason, didn't look like they quite belonged in Pawnee. One wore a nice, button-down shirt, shiny dress shoes and slacks, the other sported spiky hair, jeans, sneakers, and an Apple Jacks t-shirt.

"Whatcha lookin' at, Ann?" Leslie asked, waffle in her mouth.

Before Ann could answer, the man in the Apple Jacks t-shirt came up to Leslie and asked, "Are those waffles any good?"

"Are you kidding? They're only the best waffles in the world!" She replied.

"Great! Can we sit with you guys?" He asked.

" _Shawn,"_ the man's friend admonished in a whisper. "You'll have to excuse him, ladies. You see, we've been stuck in a car for the past two days trying to get to Indianapolis."

"Yeah, sure you guys can sit with us, right, Ann?" Leslie said.

Ann didn't say anything.

"See Gus? They say it's okay," said the spiky-haired stranger.

Leslie scooted over in the booth so Apple Jacks man could sit down next to her, and Ann made room for his friend.

"I'm Gus," said the man next to Ann. "And that's Shawn."

"Leslie Knope, Deputy Director of Parks and Recreation." Leslie shook both of their hands. "And that shy, beautiful firefly is Ann, my best friend in the world."

"Hi," Ann said, a little embarrassed by her introduction. "So, uh…you guys are heading to Indianapolis?"

"Yes, on vacation," said Gus. "We're from California."

"Wow, I've never heard of anyone traveling so far to go to Indianapolis. I mean, it's really not that exciting…" Ann said.

"Speak for yourself!" Shawn scoffed. "To Gus and me it's the best place on earth."

"Elizabeth!" Leslie suddenly interjected, calling over a waitress. "These two gentlemen would like to order."

Shawn got waffles, of course, and Gus ordered a salad.

"Come on, Gus, be a good sport, have waffles," Shawn told his friend.

"Yeah, Gus, have some waffles!" Leslie added.

"I'm sure they're delicious, Leslie, but Shawn and I have been eating nothing but Doritos and Oreos all day long. I need to detoxify my systems."

"'Detoxify your systems'? Who are you, Dr. Oz?" Shawn teased.

"Ann!" Leslie said, speaking suddenly yet again.

"What, Leslie?"

"I just had an idea. We should have a pumpkin waffle stand at the Harvest Festival. I wonder if JJ would make pumpkin waffles..." She paused. "Well, I guess if I can't find the binder, it won't matter."

"What's going on?" Asked Shawn.

"Oh…it's a long story. Basically, Pawnee is suffering a financial crisis, and some people wanna cut my department. I came up with the idea to bring back a Harvest Festival with a corn maze and rides and stuff, to bring in profits. It's been going pretty well so far, but now, someone stole the binder that had the important documents and stuff in it."

"We're not positive someone stole it," Ann clarified. "It might just be lost."

"But we're pretty sure someone stole it," Leslie mumbled under her breath.

"Hmm…maybe Gus and I could help you," Shawn told her.

"What?" Gus said.

"You see, Gus and I own a psychic detective agency. We have solved quite a few cases for the Santa Barbara Police Department."

"You guys are _psychic?"_ Ann asked, skeptical.

"Just me," said Shawn. "Gus is my very essential sidekick."

Gus rolled his eyes.

"So, you guys would be willing to help?" Leslie asked. "That would be great!"

"Yes. For a fee, of course."

"Shawn, can I talk to you for a minute?" Gus didn't wait for an answer. He pulled Shawn up by the arm and they went outside.

While they were gone, their food came. Leslie smiled mischievously, her glance shifting from Gus' food to Ann. "Salad instead of waffles? Ann, Gus is totally your type."

"Come on, Leslie. Chris just broke up with me, I don't think I need to see anyone else so soon."

Leslie shrugged silently. The bell on the door rang once more as Shawn and Gus entered and sat down again. "Gus and I have decided that we'll help you locate your binder," Shawn said.

"Great!" Said Leslie.

"But," said Gus, "we can't afford to stay more than a day or two."

"Will that be enough time?" Leslie asked.

"Sure it will! Gus and I can do it. Enough talk. Now we eat," Shawn announced.

…

After dinner had been finished, Leslie gave Shawn and Gus the address for an inexpensive motel in Pawnee. "It's not the best, but it'll do. I don't want you guys going broke before your vacation starts. Actually, my friend Ben is staying there. If you see a guy with nice hair, it's probably him," said Leslie, smiling.

As they headed to the Blueberry, Shawn told Gus, "Bet you five bucks Ben's hair isn't as awesome as mine. No, ten bucks."

"You got yourself a deal."

They drove to the motel, which, as they discovered, really wasn't the best. But, it would be worth it. The only way Shawn had been able to justify their unexplained detour was by telling Gus that the money they made would probably buy them an extra day or two at Braverton's, which wouldn't be an option if their hotel was too expensive.

After unloading their suitcases and snacks from the Blueberry, they went inside and discovered that the interior was dim and rather depressing. They checked in and made their way down a long, narrow hallway with fading wallpaper. While they unlocked their door with an old-fashioned hotel key, a man strolled passed them, his face in a thick paperback.

"Hey, are you Ben?" Asked Shawn, noticing the man's truly excellent hair.

He looked up, slightly taken aback. "Yes. Do I know you?"

"We're friends of Leslie. She said you'd be here," Gus told him.

"Oh, you're Leslie's friends?" A smile crept over Ben's face. "How do you know her?"

"It's sort of complicated. What are you reading?" Gus asked.

"Uh…it's…the first installment in the _Chronicles of Narnia._ I've never read them, but given C.S. Lewis' personal friendship with Tolkien, I thought it might be worth my time. And it is, so far at least."

Shawn and Gus blinked at him.

"Um…well." Ben shut the book and held it behind his back. "It was nice…to meet you. I'll probably see you again. Some time."

With that, Ben walked down the hall, the book still clenched behind his back.

"Wow. _Nerd,"_ Shawn said.

"Be that as it may, Shawn, I believe you owe me ten bucks."

"Yeah, you're right." Shawn took out his wallet and put a crinkled ten-dollar bill in Gus' hand.


	3. Not Even Jerry

The next morning, Ben entered Leslie's office to find her hunched over, her head on her desk. "Something wrong?" He asked.

"Yes, Ben, something is very wrong," she said, easing her head up onto her elbow.

"Uh-oh. What is it?"

"Oh…I don't know how to tell you this. You'll probably hate me forever."

Ben wheeled Tom's empty chair next to her desk. "I'm…sure that's not true."

Leslie took a deep breath. "So…you know the binder I kept all the important stuff for Harvest Festival in?"

"Yes…"

"I…kind of…don't know where it is?"

"You don't?" Ben rubbed his forehead.

"No. See? I told you you'd be mad."

"I'm not mad, it's just…this is bad, Leslie. We're going to need almost everything in that binder from now until the Harvest Festival."

"I know, but I'm taking care of it. Yesterday I met some psychic detectives, and they've agreed to find it."

"Psychic detectives? You believe in psychics, Leslie?"

"I guess. Apparently, they've solved a whole bunch of cases for the actual police. Don't you believe in psychics?"

"Well, I mean…scientific reason tells me no, but almost every episode of _The X-Files_ I've ever watched tells me yes. I guess you could say I…want to believe." Ben chuckled a little.

Leslie gave him a strange, silent look.

"Sorry," he told her.

"Anyways, they should be coming by sometime this morning to get started."

"All right. Well, I'll help in any way I can."

She smiled at him. "Thanks."

…

"Wow, Gus. Look at all the government people. Reminds me of our fifth-grade field trip to city hall," Shawn said as he and Gus walked through Pawnee City Hall. "Promise you won't throw up in a fountain again like you did then?"

"Don't you go bringing that up on me again, Shawn. You know I had the flu."

"Yeah, whatever. Where did Leslie say to turn again?"

"She said to turn left at the trash can, but I've seen four trash cans."

"Excuse me, good sir, we're looking for the Parks and Recreation Department," Shawn announced, approaching a man working at a shoeshine stand.

"Oh sure, yeah, I know where that is," he said amicably. "My girlfriend works there. That's her. Her name's April." He turned around and faced a solemn, dark-haired girl sitting in one of the seats at the shoeshine stand, who was absentmindedly flipping through a magazine.

"Don't get too close, I'm a vampire," she mumbled, not looking up.

"Heh heh. No, she's not, really. I'm Andy," the man said. Shawn and Gus introduced themselves and explained their business at City Hall, to which Andy replied, "You guys are detectives who are also psychics? That's, like, the definition of awesomeness."

"Gus and I certainly think so," Shawn told him.

"Let's go to the Parks Department."

…

After Andy took Shawn and Gus to the Parks office, he and Leslie gave them a deluxe tour of City Hall.

"Never ever ever go up to the fourth floor," Leslie told them as they finished touring the third floor. "I'm pretty sure Dementors live up there." The four piled into the elevator and she pressed the button for the first level.

"Leslie," Gus began, "is there anyone you suspect may have stolen the binder?"

"No, not really. Except…" She paused dramatically. "Greg Pikitis."

"Oh yeah, that little turd. I'll bet he did it!" Andy exclaimed.

"Wait, never mind. I think I heard that his mom sent him to military school. Besides him, I can't think of anyone," Leslie said.

"You know what, Leslie? I bet it's Jerry," said Andy as the elevator doors opened.

"Good guess, Andy, but I don't even think Jerry is dumb enough to pull something like this," she responded.

They walked back to the Parks office and Leslie announced, "Well, that's City Hall. I guess I'll let you guys…do your thing."

"Great, thank you, Leslie," said Gus.

"I gotta get back to my shoeshine stand. Hey, you guys want me to shine your shoes for you? I'm really good," Andy told them.

"I think we're good, man. See you later," Shawn said.

As Andy walked away, Gus asked, "So, what do we do?"

"I don't know, but I'm kinda thinking this is an inside job," said Shawn.

"Well, that's obvious," said Gus. "Leslie seems to know a lot of people at City Hall, so how do we narrow down the suspects?"

"Naw, I mean an inside, inside job."

"You mean, someone in the Parks and Rec office?"

"Think about it, Gus, who else would know about Leslie's binder and what was in it?"

"But how does that make any sense, Shawn? It's these people's jobs on the line, isn't it? Wouldn't they all want the Harvest Festival to go over well?"

"You'd think, but alas, my dear Guster, things are not always as they seem."

"Besides, how do we know Leslie didn't lose the binder?"

"I really don't think she'd lose something this important. She's too organized for that. I think we need to do some interviewing."

…

"So…you're psychic? Like, you can read people's minds and stuff?" April, Andy's girlfriend and assistant to the Director of Parks and Recreation, sat across from Shawn and Gus on a picnic table in the courtyard, watching an ant crawl across her hand

"Well…the psychic forces cannot be defined or limited…" Shawn began.

"So, you can't read minds," she replied.

"No. I do not go to the psychic powers, they come to me."

"Whatever." April slapped at the ant on her hand.

"April, can you think of any reason why anyone would want to sabotage the Harvest Festival?" Gus asked.

"No, not unless somebody really hated one of us. Or all of us. Or wanted to lose this job really bad."

"Well, do you really hate anyone in the office or want to lose your job really bad?" Gus replied.

"No, I didn't steal it. This job sucks, but I get to see Andy every day, so it's not that bad. And I like pretty much everybody I work with. Just don't tell them that."

"Do you know of anybody who would have wanted to steal it?" Shawn asked her.

"Ann Perkins," April said immediately.

"Ann? Leslie's 'best friend in the world?' Why would she do it?" Gus said.

"Because she's a horrifying monster who stabs people in the face and then rips out their eyes and—"

Shawn and Gus stared.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "It probably wasn't Ann. I mean, she's the worst person ever, but she probably wouldn't do that to Leslie. Other than her, there's no one."

"Thank you, April," said Gus, and she got up from the table and went back inside. "That girl's got problems," he remarked.

"No doubt. She was truthful, though. But, I still think this whole thing has something to do with a parks worker, somehow."

"So, more interviews?"

"You bet."

…

Unfortunately, Shawn and Gus found that everyone they interviewed had opinions nearly identical to April. It appeared that everyone was far too devoted to Leslie and no one hated his or her job too much. Ron Swanson, the Parks Department director, had said very little during his interview, only that no, he didn't take the binder, and no, he didn't know of anyone who would. Almost every other question he had refused to answer. His buff manor had also succeeded in scaring the socks off Gus.

A short, skinny young man named Tom didn't really have much to say either. Mostly, he wanted to talk about Gus' clothes, where he had gotten them, and whether or not they had boy's sizes. "Plus, I'm digging that belt," he had added. "I'm assuming it's genuine leather?" Really, the only thing he had said about Leslie was that "That girl's got no enemies! Nobody hates her, and the people who do hate her probably know nothing about her binders."

After talking with a woman named Donna, (who, like Ann, thought Leslie had just lost the binder due to the fact that "That woman's mind is like a big plate of spaghetti, six places at once,") and a man named Jerry, who had nothing but good things to say about everything and everyone, Shawn and Gus decided to take a break.

"Okay, I have some bad news," Shawn said.

"What?" Gus asked.

"This is going to be a lot harder than I originally thought it would be."

"Shawn, two days. _Two days,_ Shawn, and then we're out of here, binder or no binder. If I don't get to Braverton's soon, I'm going to start going through withdrawals," Gus replied.

"I know, buddy, I hear you. You shall hug that monkey yet."

"You know that's right. So what now?"

"Well, first, we eat. I haven't had anything for almost two hours now. Interviewing should be considered hard labor. After that, we'll talk to Leslie again and find out if there's anyone else she works closely with at City Hall. Maybe we should interview Ann a little bit more, too."

"Where should we eat?"

"I was thinking JJ's Diner again. And this time, I will not allow you to be a loser and get a salad. I will not let you do that to yourself."

"Waffles?"

"Yes, Gus, waffles." They began to get up from the picnic table and head back inside. "Golden heaven made in an iron and topped with the joy tears of sugary maple trees."

"That actually is starting to sound really delicious."

"You'd better believe it."


	4. Shawn Meets the Mayors

After lunch, Shawn and Gus called Leslie, who gave them Ann's address, and they rang her doorbell at noon exactly. When she opened the door, they saw that she was wearing a pair of blue scrubs and Shawn immediately commented, "Wow, snappy getup, Ann. Are you a doctor?"

"A nurse. And, actually, I was just about to leave for the hospital. My shift starts in about a half an hour. What…are you guys doing here?"

"We'll come back if you need to leave," Gus said gently.

"Look, I have a little bit of time to spare if you can make it quick."

"We've come to interview you, Ann," Shawn said plainly. "About the binder."

"Oh, okay. You guys can come in, then. I…actually thought of something earlier that I should tell you, but Leslie doesn't know about it." Ann sat down on her couch, and Shawn sat across from her. Gus stood. "I wouldn't keep secrets from her, I just forgot about it until this morning," she continued.

"What is it?" Gus asked.

"A few weeks ago, I was at the hospital, and this guy came up to me and asked me about Leslie. He was just a normal-looking guy, really. Nothing about him stood out. He just asked if I knew her, and that he'd heard about the Harvest Festival project she was doing, which is weird because most people didn't know about it until she went on the radio and news about it a week after that. Anyway, I told him that I did know her and that she was working really hard as usual. And then he nodded and just kind of walked away. That was it. Sorry if that's unnecessary, I just thought maybe you guys would want to know for your investigation."

"What did this normal-looking guy look like?" Shawn asked.

"Uh…well, he…was blond, I know that. Kinda tall, I guess. Maybe. You know, I don't really remember that much. Sorry."

"That's okay, Ann. Thank you," said Gus. They smiled at each other.

Shawn cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah, thanks, Ann. Has anything like that ever happened before?"

"No. I mean, as amazing as Leslie is, she's not exactly a well-known public figure," she replied.

Shawn asked her if she knew anyone who might have wanted to steal the binder, she said no and that she still had a suspicion that it was just lost, and then they let her go to work.

On the ride back to City Hall, Shawn said, "I saw you using your patented Guster charms on Ann."

"No, I wasn't. It's called being kind, Shawn. You should try it," he replied.

"Don't deny it, buddy. I know you have a thing for hot nurses."

"I do not have a thing for hot nurses, Shawn. Besides, even if I were hypothetically interested in Ann, we're leaving in two days. Two days, Shawn, _two days."_

"Yeah, I got it, dude." Shawn paused. "I'm kind of thinking we might have something with the blond man she was talking about."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. It just seems weird that some guy would randomly walk up and ask Ann about Leslie and the project she's working on."

"Maybe we should ask Leslie's friends if they've seen a blond guy lurking around," Gus said.

"An excellent idea. Afterwards, I say we drive around and find a Taco Bell for dinner. I've never craved tacos so much in my entire life."

"We had lunch less than an hour ago, Shawn."

…

Once they got to City Hall, Shawn and Gus asked Leslie if she knew or had seen any tall, normal-looking blond men around. She said no. "I'll keep my eye out for one, though," she promised. "So, what have you guys been up to today?"

"Interviewing, mostly," said Gus. "We talked to all the parks workers and Ann. Is there anyone else you work with a lot?"

"Well…right now, all I can really think of is Ben," she said.

"Ben? Nerd Ben works here?" Shawn asked.

"Yep. Second floor. Once you step off the elevator it'll be the fourth door on your left. Tell him I said hi!"

…

Once they had found Ben's office (despite Leslie's directions, Shawn and Gus had somehow managed to get lost), they found him sitting at his desk, writing something down.

"Well, if it isn't Ben the Coolest," Shawn said as they stepped inside. He looked up, rather surprised. "Somehow my psychic senses warned me you'd be wearing a skinny tie like that."

"Hey, you're the guys from my motel, right?" Ben paused. "Oh, you're the psychic detectives Leslie told me about."

"Right you are, Benjamin. I'm Shawn Spencer, that's Gus, or Chocolate Bit-o-Honey as I like to call him. Leslie says hello."

He smiled. "Oh…well, um, tell her I said hi back."

"Ben, we're here to ask you some questions," said Gus.

"Sure. What do you want to know?" Ben asked.

Shawn asked, "First of all, what do you do here in Pawnee?" He looked at Ben and all the papers all over his desks. Lots of numbers. "I'm sensing something with math…maybe money?"

"That's right!" Ben exclaimed. He cleared his throat, clearly trying to play down his excitement. "I'm a state auditor, so I was sent here by the state government to balance the budget."

"So, you're the guy who wants to cut Leslie's department?" Shawn said.

"No, I never wanted to cut her department completely. Leslie had the idea of the Harvest Festival and promised that her department could be cut if it wasn't profitable. Which, so far it definitely seems like it's going to be successful, so long as we can find that binder."

"And you two are friends?"

"Leslie and I? Yeah. I mean, at first, she…she didn't really...like me too much, I guess. Because of what I do." He cleared his throat. "But now we're friends."

"Anyways, Ben, what do you know about Leslie's binder?" Gus finally asked, giving Shawn a strange look.

"I've been thinking about it, and I'm not sure. I mean, Leslie is extremely hardworking and organized. She's very passionate and takes her work very seriously, and I'm almost positive that she wouldn't have lost the binder knowing the jobs of her and her friends are at risk. But on the other hand…I don't think anyone would have taken it from her. I don't know of anyone who would want to, but maybe I'm wrong."

"Thank you, Ben," said Gus. "Also, we wanted to ask you if you've seen a tall blond man around in the past few weeks."

"No, I don't think so."

"So, Ben, when are you leaving Pawnee?" Shawn asked.

"Um…I don't really know. Soon, probably," he said, not sounding too thrilled about that.

"Well, I guess we'll probably see each other at the motel tonight, then," said Shawn.

"Yeah, I'm sure we will. I'm actually pretty sure we're the only people staying there."

…

"What was with all those questions, Shawn? All we needed to ask him about was the binder and the blond man," said Gus as they walked back to the parks office.

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong, my dear Guster. With those questions, I cracked open the egg of his subconscious. Now we know that he definitely did not have anything to do with Leslie's binder going missing."

"How do we know that?" Gus asked.

"Because he's got it bad for her," Shawn replied.

"Really, Shawn? How can you tell after just one meeting?"

"Only by the everything about him, Gus. Anyways, he's out completely."

"So what do we do now? You still think this is an inside job?"

Shawn stopped walking. On the wall beside them was an array of pictures of men, some wizened, some bald-headed, most overtly obese. "Gus, who are these dudes and why am I being forced to look at so many of them?"

"Looks like they're all of Pawnee's mayors, Shawn. And I see your point. A bit of diet and exercise couldn't hurt any of these guys."

"Yeah, I'm kind of getting that's a theme in this town." Shawn thought a minute. It seemed like Leslie might make a good mayor. "Hey Gus, did Leslie say anything about running for office or being in politics or anything?"

"I don't think so. Why?"

"What if our thief is trying to run for office or something? He stole the binder to make sure the festival fails and Leslie looks bad so she can't run. Or at least, if she did, no one would vote for her."

"That makes sense. Should we go talk to her?"

"Indeed. That is if we can find our way back."

* * *

 **By the way, in case anyone was wondering, Chocolate Bit-o-Honey do, in fact, exist. Trust me, I work in a candy shop.**


	5. The White Dude Fro

"Run for office? _Mayor?_ That's my dream! But no, I'm not involved in any elections right now." Leslie sat down at her desk. "Is that the only lead you guys have, really? You know I'm paying you, right, and how long have you been at this, two weeks?"

"We've been investigating for half a day, Leslie," Gus said, giving her a strange look.

"Woah, Les, settle down there," Shawn said. "You have my word, and Gus' word, that we will find the binder, and as soon as possible. If we're unsuccessful, you can have Gus' car."

" _No, you cannot,"_ Gus glared at his partner. "What I mean is—"

"It's okay, Gus, I'm sorry," Leslie sighed. "I'm just…I'm going insane, I haven't been able to get any work done! And I need work!" She put her head down on her desk and groaned loudly.

"Look, can you give us a name of anyone who might really, really want to be mayor or some other high, powerful office?" Asked Shawn.

Leslie sat up. "Not really, just the city council members, but...Councilman Howser likes me too much, Dexhart's probably too horny, Milton's too old…" She paused a minute. "Jamm."

"Jam? What, do you want some toast or something?" Shawn asked.

"No, Councilman Jeremy Jamm. He's terrible. He's an awful, terrible man who's just crazy enough to try something like this. Come on, we have to go talk to him now," she finished, standing up.

"Hold up, Leslie. I think it's best Shawn and I go alone. It's sometimes harder for him to get an accurate reading when other people are around."

"Exactly. My dear Miss Knope, all of your vibrant energy will interfere with the psychic radio waves."

"Fine, okay, fine! Just please, _please_ be quick. If I don't have something to work on within the next few hours I might burn this place to the ground! No, you know what, I can't do that. No, I love this place too much. Don't worry about that. Forget I said that. Just go!"

And so they very swiftly left.

"That girl is insane," said Gus as they lumbered down the hall.

"Yes, that she is. Good call having her stay back, bud. This Smuckers guy wouldn't tell the truth with Leslie around."

"I think his name is Jamm, Shawn."

"I've heard it both ways. Andy!"

The shoeshine boy lifted up his head from the black shoes of an old guy. "Hey! It's the psychotic detectives! Shawn and Gus!"

"Uh, I think you mean psychic detectives, bud," Shawn corrected.

"Oh yeah! What's up?" Andy said, still as enthusiastic as ever.

"Listen, Andy, can you help us find Councilman Jamm?" Gus asked.

"Well, yeah, but…I don't think you want me to. That guy's kind of the worst."

"So we've been told," Shawn replied. "But, Gus and I are just brave enough to risk it."

"I guess you guys really do want to find Leslie's binder. Come on."

"Um…Andy…don't you need to finish shining this guy's shoes?" Gus asked, looking at the sad man sitting at the stand.

"Naw, he's fine. Later, Kyle!" Andy yelled to him, and they began making their way to Councilman Jamm's office.

…

Andy dropped them off a few paces in front of the door, wishing to avoid the councilman as much as possible. "Okay, Gus, how bad can this guy be?" Shawn asked, eyeing Jamm's office.

"I don't know, Shawn. Let's just get this over with. We'll find out if he has the binder, and if he does we'll go from there."

Boldly they marched up and opened his door. "Woah," Jamm exclaimed. He was leaned all the way back in his chair, his feet up on the desk. "Who are you two losers?"

Shawn and Gus strolled in, immediately turning their back to him and whispering. "Shawn, does that guy have a white dude fro?" Gus asked.

"Yes, I think he does."

"He really is the worst."

"No question."

"So who's gonna do the talking?"

"Excuse me!" Jamm yelled. "I'm kinda busy here. Plus, I feel a huge dump coming on. I've got IBS, you know."

"Wonderful," Shawn spoke. "Councilman Jamm, I am psychic detective Shawn Spencer, and this is my associate Worldwide Web. We're here to question you about the disappearance of a certain binder."

"Binder? What binder? I don't know anything about Knope's stupid binder."

"Okay, well you just said it was Leslie's binder when we never mentioned anything about her," Gus reasoned.

"Look, I'm not gonna lie to you two bozos," Jamm said, leaning back in his chair even further. "I stole Knope's crappy binder. I still have it, as a matter of fact."

Shawn and Gus turned around again to whisper. "Did he just confess?" Gus asked.

"Yes, I believe he did."

"So what do we do now?"

Shawn turned around and Gus followed suit. "You stole the binder," he said, pointing at the councilman. "You stole it because of your filthy rotten jealousy. Leslie's a way better candidate than you are, and she has much better hair."

"Hey, don't insult the curls," Jamm said, putting a hand on his head. "And so what? Now you know my secret. I wanna be mayor of this crap town, and Knope's a shoe-in. I figure if I steal the binder, she looks ridiculous, I become mayor."

Shawn put his fingers to his temples. "I see a blond man," he announced, "asking nurse Ann about Leslie's project."

"Oh yeah, that's my idiot nephew Carl. I told him I'd give him a recommendation for an internship in public works if he'd go around at collect info about Harvest Fest. Recommendation's not gonna happen, though. He is an _idiot."_ Jamm laughed. Shawn and Gus made disgusted faces at each other.

"Look, man," Shawn started, "I'm sure you're a decent guy, somewhere under that…façade of…cheap slacks and terrible cologne. This thing means a lot to a bunch of different people. There are jobs involved, lives involved, and…" He was interrupted by the sound of Jamm laughing.

"I'm sorry!" The councilman exclaimed, still laughing. "But there's no way I'm just going to give the stupid thing back to you. And it's just hilarious. You know I have the binder, I'm just not going to tell you where it is. Boom. You just got Jammed."

"Seriously, man?" said Gus.

"Eww," Shawn exclaimed. "Come on, Gus, let's get out of here."

"See ya in hell!" Jamm called after them.

"That may very well be the worst person I've ever met," said Gus as they walked back towards the elevator.

"Definitely. But we're one step closer than where we were before. We're just going to have to find out where such a terrible guy would keep a binder."

"Wait a second, can't we call the police?" Gus asked. "I mean, I'd like to think there's some pretty sensitive information in that binder. Couldn't Jamm hypothetically be trying to commit identity theft or steal money from the government?"

"Good point. I don't know, man, but I know who might," Shawn said. He took out his phone and dialed Jules, putting her on speakerphone.

She answered after half a ring. "O'Hara."

"Jules! Gus and I have a question for you."

"Hi, Shawn. Aren't you guys on vacation?" She asked.

"Well, yes and no. We're in Pawnee, Indiana working a case."

"You guys are aware that the whole point of a vacation is to not work," she replied.

"We're hoping that taking _two days_ to work this case will buy us some extra time at the arcade," Gus said.

"And the people we're meeting are really cool." Shawn and Gus began to excitedly tell Juliet about Leslie's situation and how they'd been wandering around city hall all day. Finally, they began to explain their dilemma with Jamm.

"So, can we arrest him?" Shawn asked.

" _You_ most certainly cannot arrest him," Juliet replied. "As for getting the local police involved, maybe. But you'd have to have probable cause, and considering you guys don't even know where the binder is, that's going to be hard to get. Don't tell Carlton I said this, but…" She paused a moment as if she were taking a quick look around before she spoke. "You guys are probably better off just finding it on your own. But listen to me! Shawn, Gus, _no breaking and entering."_

"Jules! When have we ever searched a property without a warrant?" Shawn asked her.

"You do it at least once a month."

"Oh, come on! Not once a month, more like…once every other month."

"At the most," Gus added.

"My point is, don't do it now," she said definitively.

"Point taken," Shawn said. "And by the way, once we get to Braverton's, I'm picking something out to bring you back."

"Oh really?" She replied, playfulness seeping into her voice. "I simply cannot wait for one of those tiny rubber frogs. Or better yet, a pixie stick."

Shawn grinned because he could hear her smile in the way she spoke. "Jules, please, for you I'll get one of those huge plastic pixie sticks that look like straws. Maybe even a ring pop."

"Goodbye, Shawn, Gus. Have a good vacation, and good luck in Pawnee." She hung up, and the boys got back on the elevator. Once they had found Leslie, they explained to her what they had found and that no, they could not have Jamm arrested, despite her multiple urges for them to do so.

"I hate Jamm! I hate him so much," Leslie ranted. "He'd tell me where it is with a gun to his head, wouldn't he?"

"Chill, girl!" Gus said, his voice rising in pitch.

"You're right, you're right," she said, taking deep breaths. "I don't even have a gun. But I could ask Ron! No, that's crazy." Leslie paused. "What do we do from here?"

"Dear Leslie, I'm psychic, remember?" Shawn told her. "Gus and I will find it within the next day. We'll go around, I'll do some divining, we'll do some more interviews…"

"Eat some more waffles," Gus added.

"…and you'll have that binder in your hands by tomorrow night, back to work."

Leslie nodded. "Look, I'm really sorry I've been so...strange and erratic with you guys. Thank you for helping me. I trust you. I trust that you'll find my binder."

Shawn and Gus said goodbye, realized it was after six, and decided to call it quits for the night.


	6. Dang, Son

Leslie got into the elevator and pressed the button for the second floor. Yes, she knew her new friends would be able to find her binder, but she was more upset now that she had let it get away. This thing was so important, and it was gone. She walked without thinking into Ben's office. "Hi," she said, standing in his doorway.

He smiled up at her. "Hey. What's up?"

Leslie sat down in the chair on the other side of his desk.

"It's nothing. I'm just…worried I, guess. Upset."

"About what?" He asked her. "The binder? I met Shawn and Gus today. They seemed…cool. And Shawn actually seems psychic."

"They are. He is," Leslie added. "They found out who has the binder."

"Really? Who?"

"Jamm." She explained the whole thing to him.

"And he won't tell them where it is?" Ben asked when she had finished.

"No. Why would he? Jamm is the actual worst."

"I know. I hate that guy."

"Me too," Leslie sighed.

There was a little pause. Leslie wondered why she had come to Ben's office. _Because I like it in here,_ came the response.

"I don't like seeing you like this," Ben told her.

"Yeah? Well, join the club, buddy." She needed to explain. Maybe she wanted to. "I'm responsible for this, Ben. Shawn and Gus are going to find the binder. But I was the one who let it get away in the first place. I staked everybody's careers on this, and then I let everybody down."

Ben stood up. He sat down in the seat next to Leslie on the other side of his desk. "Leslie…you know I think you're great."

She smiled slyly. "No, I don't. Tell me about it."

"Well, I do. It's...you're great. You're great." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "This is…this is Jamm's fault, not yours. Besides, the binder wouldn't have even existed if you had not thought of an awesome idea to help your friends. From how I see it, you never have to worry about letting anyone down."

He was looking at her and smiling at her. Leslie felt a jolt inside of her, something that felt sweet and urgent. Something about him and his cute face and his nice hair. But she pushed it away. _Later,_ she told herself.

"Thank you," she said.

Ben was still smiling at her when his glance faltered a second.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Weren't Shawn and Gus asking about a blond guy?"

"Yeah?"

"I just saw one walk down the hall."

They immediately bolted up and peered out the door. There he was, a tall, blond figure walking down the corridor. In his hand was the binder.

…

Shawn and Gus were lounging on their hotel beds watching _Back to the Future II_ when Shawn's phone rang. "Yeah," Shawn answered, his cheeks stuffed with Oreos.

"Shawn! It's Leslie. The blond guy is here. He has the binder." She was whispering.

"Wait! Carl is there?" Shawn answered, sitting up.

"Carl?"

"Uh…yes. I'm sensing his name is Carl. And where is he? At City Hall?"

"Yes, at City Hall! Ben and I are following him now. Hurry up!"

"We'll be right there!" Shawn answered, putting on his shoes.

"Great, second floor," Leslie whispered, then hung up.

He and Gus ran out the door and to the Blueberry at full speed.

…

Once they had reached City Hall, they went in and noticed that all that many of the lights had been turned off for the night. "This place is creepy, Shawn."

"Come on, man, we're just chasing a twenty-something guy who's only motivation is for his resume to look good."

"Still…" Gus shuddered.

They got on the elevator, and as soon as the doors parted on the second floor, there was Carl. "Hey!" Shawn called. Carl began to run down the hallway. Gus and Shawn started off to catch him. Just as he had reached the end of the hall, Ben reached out from the intersecting hallway and grabbed him by the back of his collar. Carl fell ungracefully to the ground.

"Dang, son," Shawn said.

"Nice job, Ben!" Leslie called. Ben smiled.

"Ow!" said Carl. "What was that for?"

"You know what for, you scrawny little thief!" Leslie called. Her face suddenly fell.

"What is it, Les?" Shawn asked.

"Shawn, he doesn't have the binder," Gus answered for her.

…

The four took Carl into Ben's office, cornering him. Leslie thought he should be tied up, but they all were eventually able to talk her down from this plan.

"Carl, dear, sweet, misunderstood Carl," Shawn started. "I'm sensing you're only doing all of this for…an internship? At City Hall?"

"'Sensing'? What are you, psychic?" Carl replied.

"You bet I'm psychic, jack."

"You'd better get on his level, man," Gus told him.

"All right, yeah," Carl admitted. "My uncle's going to give me a really good recommendation if I do this for him. I have nothing to do with this."

Leslie stopped forward. "Is that so, you scrawny little—" Ben touched her shoulder and she stepped back, rephrasing her thoughts. "I don't buy it."

"What is it with you and calling me scrawny?" Carl asked. "He's pretty scrawny, too," he announced, pointing at Ben. "And you don't seem to have an issue with him."

"Hey…" Ben said softly.

"That's because he didn't steal something from me!" Leslie retorted. "Like you did. You stupid butthead!"

"Leslie, Carl, I think we can all be rational," Shawn said, surprised to hear the word "rational" come out of his mouth at all. Gus gave him a surprised look, apparently just as taken aback. Somehow, he was now not the most unpredictable person in the room.

"Carl, if you don't have anything to do with this, then we don't have a problem. Just tell us where the binder is," Gus said.

"It's not that simple," Carl replied. "He's not going to give me the recommendation if I tell anyone. And trust me, I'm not getting anything without a good word from my uncle. I have…nothing going for me."

Shawn remembered something from their conversation with Jamm earlier. "I'm sensing your Uncle Smuckers…"

"Jamm," Leslie, Ben, Gus, and Carl corrected simultaneously.

"Whatever. I'm sensing your Uncle Jamm was never going to give you that recommendation. In fact, he thinks you're an idiot!"

"Seriously? I did all that for nothing?"

"Afraid so," Shawn answered.

Carl crossed his arms angrily and muttered something under his breath. "Well, I still don't have to tell you anything. Now I'm not going to tell you where it is because of her." He pointed again, this time at Leslie.

Shawn and Gus groaned. "Geez, Carl, do you have to be so difficult all the time?" Shawn asked.

"Look," Ben started, "what if you tell us where the binder is and I give you the recommendation."

"Why would I want that? You're not a councilman," Carl retorted.

"No, he works for the state government," Leslie told him. "Which means his word means more than your crappy uncle's."

Carl considered this for a moment. "Just the take the deal," Gus told him. "Trust me, Ben is being…overly generous."

"Fine, I'll tell you what I know. You guys must really want that thing back."

"Go on, out with it!" Leslie insisted. "Little twerp," she muttered.

"My uncle just told me to go around and talk to different people at first," Carl started. "I started with the weird vampire girl, but she wouldn't say anything, only that Knope was a sabertooth tiger. So then I tracked down Knope's best friend, that nurse. And I asked her. She said this Harvest Fest thing was going to be a really big deal. A lot of different people seem to think that. Jamm said that I was going to have to trash the whole thing if I wanted his recommendation." Carl scowled. "I didn't know how I was going to do that, so I was at a loss for a couple of weeks. Then I talked to that old fat guy that works in your office, Leslie."

"Jerry!" Leslie paused. "Andy was right."

"Yeah, Jerry. Anyway, he told me that you were so focused on this thing you had even made a big binder with all the important stuff. And then I saw it on your desk. When you walked out for a minute, I just swiped it and walked out with it."

"But where is it now, Carl?" Shawn asked yet again.

"Well, it took it to my uncle and he told me to keep it at my place for a while. I did, until tonight. Apparently, you guys checking up on him kind of freaked him out. He had me bring it here, back to his office. That's when you guys spotted me."

"Wait, is he still here?" said Shawn.

"No, he's long gone. I gave it to him and then he headed back to his house. Oh, and he mentioned something about destroying the binder."

"Destroying it?" Leslie spat.

"Where does Jamm live?" Gus asked Carl.

"Sanders Drive," Carl muttered. "You can't miss it. He's got a whole bunch of racially insensitive gnomes out front."

"Thanks, Carl!" Shawn yelled, halfway out the door. "See ya!"


	7. Sorry, Jules

The four went as fast as they could down to the parking lot, where they all piled into the Blueberry. "Wow, Gus, nice car," Leslie told him from the back seat.

"It is a _company car,"_ Gus responded. "Which means there are some rules. Number one, no—"

"Dude, just go! It may already be too late!" Shawn exclaimed.

So Gus pulled out and began listening to Leslie's hurried directions, all the while stating the rules to the Blueberry. "Number four, shoes will be worn at all times. Number five, I control the stereo volume. Number six—"

"Uh, Gus, I hate to interrupt, but what exactly are we going to do once we get to Jamm's place?" Ben asked.

"What do you think we're going to do, Ben?" Leslie responded. "We're going to get my binder back!"

"Yes," he said, "but how? He's not just going to give it to us, and shouldn't we have some sort of plan?"

"Ben the Coolest," Shawn told him as they pulled in a few houses down from Jamm's, "leave it to me, Gus, and the psychic forces to figure that out. You and Leslie just stay here in the Blueberry. We'll return soon."

The partners got out. "Shawn," Gus whispered. "How are we going to get in there?"

"I don't know yet, bud. What time is it?"

Gus glanced at his watch. "8:30."

"And yet I don't see any lights on. What time does this guy to go bed?"

"You should try going to bed at a decent hour some time, Shawn. You'd probably feel a lot better if you—"

"I can't have this conversation with you right now." Shawn scanned the front of the house for a way in. So far, he didn't see anything to indicate the home had a security system. He and Gus went to the side of the house, where they found a small kitchen window. It was cracked open just a bit, letting the cool autumn air in. "Great Griswold's Ghost!" Shawn whispered.

"Clark Griswold isn't dead, Shawn."

"Seriously, dude?" The fake psychic slowly and quietly slid the window open as far as it would go. "Sorry, Jules," he whispered. "You first, bud."

Gus shot Shawn a look, but complied, sliding in head first and landing on the floor with a groan. Shawn followed and the two were inside. In the darkness, they could make out a huge hibachi, several creepy pictures of female tennis players, and a kitchen counter piled high with unopened mail. "This place is even creepier than city hall," Gus told him.

"You got that right," Shawn replied. "This may be a portal to hell. Let's just get out of here as quick as we can."

As quietly as they could, the partners searched the bottom floor of the home, peeking into every cabinet and under every table. Unsuccessful, they met at the bottom of the staircase. "Dude, don't tell me we're going up there," Gus whispered.

"We have to, man. I think this is our last shot. Jamm's going to destroy the binder soon if he hasn't already."

"Fine," Gus said. "But you're buying waffles before we leave."

"Ah, good one, Gus." Shawn led the way up the staircase. Again, they searched every room, including the bathroom, but found nothing. Finally, they reached the very last room on the floor. The door was shut. From the inside, they could hear snores.

"Nuh uh, Shawn," Gus announced. "No way. No way am I sneaking into a man's bedroom while he's sleeping. I will not. I refuse."

"We'll be in an out in a second, Gus," Shawn said. "I know this is where he's keeping it, I mean, it makes sense, right? He wants to keep it close to him."

" _No_ , Shawn," Gus replied.

"Look, if you won't do this for Leslie, do it for Braverton's. Gus, do it for Ralph."

" _Ralph,"_ Gus whispered in awe. He sighed. "Fine, I'll do it. You go in first. I'll go left, you go right."

Shawn very carefully opened the door. There was Jamm, sound asleep and wearing a sleep apnea mask. It didn't take them long to spot the thick binder, fully intact, sitting on top of his bedside table.

Gus just happened to be closest. He inched towards the binder carefully and picked it up. Standing directly over Jamm, he nodded at Shawn. All of a sudden, the councilman's eyes flew open, getting an eyeful of Gus, binder in hand. Jamm screamed, the apnea mask still attached to his face. Shawn and Gus screamed in reply.

"RUN GUS RUN!" Shawn screeched, and they bolted out the door and down the hall. Gus fell and rolled down about half of the stairs, but managed to regain his footing and keep a firm grip on the binder. Jamm was just behind them, yelling obscenities. Shawn frantically unlocked the door and threw it open, still screaming, the pair running across the lawn and knocking over many a gnome in the process. They climbed into the Blueberry, Gus throwing the binder in the back and speeding away.

…

"What was that?!" Leslie yelled, clutching her binder.

"We got your binder, Les!" Came Shawn's reply.

"Yeah, I know, but what—how—"

"We got the binder," Gus repeated. "Honestly, Leslie, the less you know, the better."

She shrugged and began to look through the binder, making sure everything was accounted for. "So," Ben began, "how did you guys even get in?"

"I sensed an open window," Shawn told him. "And thus, the rest fell into place."

"Okay, you guys know that's breaking and entering, right? That's illegal," he responded.

"Ben, don't be a stale candy corn," said Shawn. "Gus and I did what we had to do. The psychic forces permitted it!"

"And Leslie, you're okay with this?" Ben asked her.

"Jobs are at stake here, Ben. You know how I feel about justice, but frankly, Jamm is the worst. He had it coming," was her reply.

"Good point," he said quietly.

"So, whaddaya think?" Shawn interjected. "Waffles?"

"Yeah!" Piped Leslie. "We deserve it, right Gus?"

"I agree, Leslie, as long as Shawn's buying. He promised me back there."

"Really Gus, you're holding me to something uttered in hell's gateway?"

"Yes, I am. It's about time you kept one of your promises."

"Are you kidding me? I always keep my promises! What about last week when I promised you could have one of my bananas? I left one for you."

"It was completely brown, Shawn."

"They're better that way, everyone knows that!"

And so, the partners argued all the way to JJ's until Ben finally offered to pay.


	8. Biography Girl

After everyone had ordered, Leslie asked, "So, what are you guys going to do on your second day on Pawnee?"

"Oh, we figured we'd do some sightseeing," Shawn answered. "Drive around, do our thing, visit a park or two. Gus and I are very partial to swing sets."

Gus bolted up. "Shawn, a word?" He grabbed Shawn up the arm and dragged him outside for the second time.

"Man, how sweet did this case end?" Shawn asked once they had gotten out the door. "We saved everybody's jobs, we got waffles, and did you notice I was right about someone from the Parks department being involved? It was Jerry who told Carl about the binder!"

"Shawn."

"And so quickly, too! I think it's a new record."

"Shawn!"

"What, Gus?"

"Why did you tell Leslie and Ben that we're staying another day? The deal was we solve the case and then it's on to Braverton's."

"No, Gus, the deal was that we stay in Pawnee two days."

"Two days _at the most,"_ Gus corrected. "Since we don't need the second day, it's time to leave."

"C'mon, buddy, don't you like it here? A small town, nice people, away from the big city? It's just like _Of Mice and Men,_ only not on a ranch."

"I need my vacation, Shawn!" Gus yelled, stamping his foot like a little kid. "I've waited long enough!"

"Okay, okay, I get it." Shawn sighed. "Just hear me out a second."

…

"What do you think they're talking about out there?" Leslie asked Ben, looking out the window.

"I have no idea," Ben answered, watching as Gus threw what appeared to be a temper tantrum.

"So, now do you believe in psychics?" She asked him, nudging him with her elbow.

"Well, it was pretty amazing. He certainly seems psychic. I just keep wondering what Mulder would think…"

Leslie laughed. "Just when I think maybe you're not such a dork after all…"

"Laugh at me all you want, biography girl," he replied, a smile taking over his face.

Shawn and Gus came back in and sat down once more. "There's been a change of plans," Gus began. "Shawn and I have decided that we need to head to Braverton's tomorrow morning."

"Wait a second," Ben began, "you guys came all this way to go to Braverton's? I love that place!"

"Wait, you know Braverton's?" Gus replied.

"Of course, I love that place! I live in Indianapolis and I like to go on my off days. Seriously, you guys have got to try the chili cheese fries. Well worth the six bucks. And don't use the Skee Ball machines. They're a rip-off."

"Thanks man!" Shawn and Gus fist bumped him.

"Why are you guys leaving early?" Leslie asked.

"Gus' stress levels are outrageously high," Shawn answered. "He needs to get to Braverton's ASAP, and as his best friend, I've got to look out for him. Make sure he doesn't shrivel up like a chocolate covered raisin." Gus nodded. "But, we made a deal," Shawn continued. "On our way back from Indianapolis, we'll take a day to spend at the Harvest Festival."

"We figured we might as well come back to see the fruits of our labor," Gus added. "Plus, I'm sure whatever you've been working on is going to be amazing, Leslie."

Shawn nodded. "And we need some funnel cakes."

"You know that's right."

"Okay, I guess I can understand that," Leslie told them. "And I'm really excited for you guys to see the Harvest Festival! Although, I am a little bit disappointed you won't get to go to the Snow Globe Museum."

"Next time, Les," Shawn assured her. And their waffles came.

While they ate, Shawn and Gus told their new friends about their favorite cases. Ben was jealous that the boys had gotten to solve a case at Comic Con, and Leslie was thrilled at the idea of outing a Spelling Bee murderer.

"Wait a second," she asked, "you guys actually got to go up into the Spellmaster's booth? I have literally had that dream. Not to brag, but I did win two spelling bees."

"I would have won if Shawn had given me the right letter," Gus replied, staring at Shawn.

"Are you still hung up on that, Gus? That was over twenty years ago, and you should have known how to spell the word in the first place!"

"Shawn, I will—"

"Oh! And we didn't even tell you about Jules and the roller derby chicks. Go on, Gus, start it off. You tell it best."

Gus continued to glare but did as he was told.

Just as they were dropping Ben and Leslie off at city hall, Shawn had this really strange feeling that he should talk to Ben about her. Honestly, it was almost embarrassingly obvious how much he liked her, and Leslie was awesome, so why wouldn't he tell her? But Shawn didn't give romantic advice. He wasn't sure why he even cared until Gus was driving away.

 _Because you know a little something feeling that way, don't you?_ Asked that weird voice in Shawn's head that he usually ignored. And he saw Juliet's face briefly before he pushed it away and ignored it again.


	9. The Spencer

Braverton's was even more amazing than Shawn and Gus could have dreamed. It seemed to stretch on forever and smelled like pizza everywhere they went. It was open 24 hours, so when Shawn and Gus entered from the outside into the dark and thrilling inside, they did not resurface for two full days. They ate pizza, churros, slushies, chili cheese fries, and never ran out of games to play. As the third morning dawned, Gus finally gave in, returning to their hotel room for sleep and a shower. Shawn, however, did not leave until day five, when at last Gus begged him to bathe. Before he could make it to the bathroom, however, Shawn collapsed on the bed and slept twelve hours.

And sure enough, their extra cash from Leslie's case bought them two extra days. Two glorious days that the pair would later discover they could not remember from pure euphoria. On their last night, Shawn and Gus laid face up on the carpet by the claw machines, smiles etched onto their faces. "Gus," Shawn said, overjoyed and exhausted. "I think I found my home. I _belong here,_ man."

"Me too, Shawn. Let's just not go back. I have enough saved for us to live here for a month."

"That sounds amazing. But Santa Barbara needs us. My dad, Jules, Lassie, they can't live without us, bud."

"You're right," admitted Gus. "At least we've got Harvest Fest."

"Harvest Fest," Shawn repeated.

"We still getting funnel cakes?"

"You know it."

The next day, Shawn and Gus painfully dragged themselves about of bed at 10:30 to head to Pawnee. There to greet them was a Ferris wheel, a roller coaster, and tons of rides, tents, and booths. "Gus, this is so dope!" Shawn exclaimed, hopping out of the Blueberry. "And to think, none of it could have happened if we had listened to you and not stopped to help."

"I'm sure Leslie would have figured it out," Gus replied.

"Whatever you need to tell yourself, buddy. Let's go!"

The partners paid for their tickets and wandered inside. Once there, they found Andy and April, who showed them the ins and outs of the carnival. "So, you mean we're going to get to pet us some goats? Did you hear that, Gus?"

"Those goats are dangerous," April told Shawn. "I heard two of them talking about murdering the other one."

"Ha ha! That's so funny, babe. Wait, you didn't actually hear them, did you?" Andy asked.

They petted the dangerous goats and Andy and April took them to Leslie.

"I'm so glad you guys are here! Everything is going so great, I can't believe it, I just want to throw up, I'm so happy," Leslie exclaimed, giving both Shawn and Gus hugs.

"What's the word on the Parks Department?" Gus asked.

"Ben says no way we're getting cut! By the way, you guys did so much to help that I totally got you something. Follow me!"

The partners very excitedly followed Leslie to wherever she was headed. She finally stopped in front of the JJ's Diner booth. "Look up there, Shawn! Shawn, look!" Leslie hopped up and down, pointing at the menu above the window.

It took Shawn a moment to spot it. _The Spencer,_ it read in big black letters. _Waffle with pineapple chunks, topped with whipped cream and pineapple syrup._

"I am shocked! Absolutely shocked!" Shawn yelled. "This is the best day of my life. Gus, look at that! I got a food named after me, the most delicious food in the world!" He hugged Leslie once again and then stepped up to the counter. "JJ, my good man, I will have three Spencers, please. No, you know what, make it five. And I'll likely be back later." He turned to his best friend. "Isn't this amazing, Gus?"

He crossed his arms. "Leslie, I don't mean to be rude, but what sort of gift am I getting?"

Leslie smiled slyly. "I'm so glad you asked, Gus. You get the best gift in the world, the gift to triumph over all gifts. Ann."

"Ann?"

Gus turned around. Donna had gripped Ann's arm and was pulling her towards Gus. Donna delivered Ann to Leslie and then walked away. "Hi, Gus," Ann said softly, smiling awkwardly.

"Hello, Ann," he replied.

"Shawn may have told me about how you, along with everyone else in the world, think Ann is beautiful," Leslie explained, putting a protective arm on her friend's shoulder. "And Ann, you like him too, don't even try to argue with me, I know you. So, you two are going to walk around the carnival together for at least an hour while Shawn and I find something else to do."

Gus meant to glare at Shawn, but he was too busy burying his face in pineapple waffles. "Wait, what's happening?" He asked, his mouth full.

"Shall we go, Ann?" Gus asked, smiling at her.

"Fine," she smiled back, and off they went towards the carousel.

"So, Shawn, how are the waffles?" Leslie asked, watching her friend walk away.

He just moaned in response. "Great! Let's go meet Lil' Sebastian!"

"Little who?" He asked.

Leslie grabbed Shawn's arm and started pulling him towards a large tent, full of people. In the center was a brown mini horse. "This is Lil' Sebastian, Shawn!"

"Wow!" He exclaimed. Shawn found him magnificent. He had always liked horses, but this little guy seemed special. Or maybe it was just because everyone else in Pawnee thought so. "He's wonderful. Hi, Lil' Sebastian!" Shawn called to him. "As a psychic, I can commune with animals of all species," he told Leslie.

"Really? Tell him he's great. No, tell him he's awesome. No, tell him I love him!"

"Leslie loves you, Lil' Sebastian! You're great! You look like the horse version of Peter Dinklage, and he's great too!"

For sale in the booth were Lil' Sebastian stuffed animals. Shawn decided to get one for the Psych office, one for Jules (along with the Ring Pop he'd gotten her with his arcade tickets), and one for Lassie, just because Shawn knew it would piss him off.

Shawn and Leslie played games, ate some more food, and generally wasted time until Gus and Ann turned up two hours later. From there, Gus insisted they say goodbye, as it was getting late and their hotel was four hours away.

After getting two more Spencers, Shawn and Gus headed back to the Blueberry. "So," Shawn asked, his mouth full once more, "how'd it go with Ann?"

"It went very well. She's a great girl. I think there might have been potential there if I lived here. She thinks Leslie decided to set us up because Ann just went through a really embarrassing break-up."

"Well, that's what best friends do, Gus. Bet you're not mad at me that I told Leslie, are you?"

"I was at first," he admitted. "But I got over that real quick." Gus smiled, thumbed his nose, and climbed into the Blueberry.

…

"The drive back was terrible," Shawn told Juliet, reclining in one of the station's many loose rolling chairs. "I don't know whose idea it was to drive in the first place."

"Yours, Shawn," Gus commented, leaning against the wall.

Jules adjusted the Lil' Sebastian plush, which now had a place on her desk. "I'm very surprised you two didn't strangle each other."

"We may or may not have had to ride in silence on the last day," Admitted Gus.

"Yup. Hours on hours of uninterrupted silence. At least it was better than Gus telling me about the new products he's been selling."

"I did that once, Shawn, once in the past three days."

"And it was more than enough!" Shawn replied.

"Have you guys ever considered taking separate vacations?" Asked Juliet. "You know, to avoid having to keep quiet for ten hours straight."

"Naw, Jules, it's not like we've been married for ten years. Plus, without Gus, I may have never taken a case involving Lil' Sebastian."

"You're right," said Juliet. "And what a shame that would have been."

Shawn looked up to see Lassie coming towards his desk. In an instant, Lassie saw the Lil' Sebastian plush on his desk, glanced at Shawn, and immediately frowned.

* * *

 **And just like that, it's done! Thanks so much for reading! This story was a blast to write. You know what would be really nice of you? If you would leave a review. No, wait, that would be SUPER nice of you.**


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